Are you tired of all those sissy Friendship poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and remind you to quit whining.
When you are confused - I will use little words.
When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath ... I pledge it till the end.
Why? You may ask. Because you are my friend.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.
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